Call me narcissist if you must but this blog is all about ME. I have another blog about my kids, whom I love and adore writing about. But I was Nicole a long time before I was mom and I don't intend to give up being Nicole overnight.

p.s.
You can read all about my kids at Naptime Optional.
Or you can follow along on our Arizona adventure on my 365 project blog.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

upheaval


The Oregon Coast

Life is topsy turvy right now. But not necessarily in a bad way. Changes are on the horizon and I'm excited. Stressed and scared and unsure, but excited.

Right now I sit all alone in a hotel room in Oregon. For the last two days I have fully intended to grab my camera bag and just go walking and photograph anything that inspires me.

That's been the plan. But it's been raining and I have instead found peace in a cup of hot chocolate and my the pages of my journal. I can't remember the last time I had this much quiet time to sit and think. And then to listen. To really figure out what I'm thinking and feeling. What my hopes are. What my dreams are. My life is so wrapped up in my home and my kids and my husband that sometimes I completely lose me.

I think perhaps that something bigger than just the rain is at work here, keeping me in. I'm often so quick to fill up every minute of every day. I think something, somebody is telling me to slow down. To relax. To refuel. To regroup. To figure things out because once I get home life is going to come at me lightening fast.

I've written a bunch in my journal these last two days. Some of which I am thinking about sharing here. But I'm not sure yet. It's quite personal. And yet I yearn to feel the connectedness I feel when I am writing often. I miss blogging and the sense of community I feel from it. Life just got busy. And it became just one more thing to do. So I've kind of let it slip away from me a bit.

Plus I also feel a bit vulnerable right now. And I want to know that what I put out here will be embraced, not judged.

So I'm still on the fence about how much to share-but I'm sharing that I'm on the fence about what to share, and that's a start, right?

4 comments:

HeidiPie said...

Well, whatever you share, make sure you're ready for the whole world to see. =) I am excited for you. I'm glad you are getting a few days of peace.

Andria said...

I know what you mean by being busy.

I know that feeling of finally getting away from everything and having time to actually think.

And I know that sometimes what we think we want, what we need, isn't always right.

Glad to see you blogging. ;)

Allison said...

I love the Oregon Coast. It is the perfect place to be to just relax. Enjoy it, you deserve it!

orangemily said...

Sharing is good, but I know it's hard to open up. You need to feel like you're in a safe zone.
How nice to have time for yourself to think and reflect.
I LOVE the picture!