Call me narcissist if you must but this blog is all about ME. I have another blog about my kids, whom I love and adore writing about. But I was Nicole a long time before I was mom and I don't intend to give up being Nicole overnight.

You can read all about my kids at Naptime Optional.
Or you can follow along on our Arizona adventure on my 365 project blog.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Sick, again

So I woke up yesterday morning with a slight sore throat. I attributed it to the fact that I hadn't filled the humidifier and probably was just a little dried out.

But today I woke up with a full-fledged cold going on. yuck! runny, stuffy nose, chest congestion, coughing, headache, fever. blah!

I usually don't get sick. I have been really healthy for many years now. But I had the flu with my kids in February and now I've got a cold again. I am deciding right now that this has got to stop! No more sick for me! I'm putting my foot down, because it's just no fun.


Originally uploaded by Nikitiger
My new Favorite books! Seriously. For all of you women out there that feel that we are held up to an unattainably high standard of beauty or that your house is never clean enough or feel guilty for wanting a life of your own (outside your husband and kids) or feel like the world has gone CRAZY pushing our kids to impossible limits......these books are for you!

They are quick, easy reads full of a quirky sense of humor that helps us to look at what we are doing not only to ourselves but our family as we try to live up what we think the world would have us do. I promise you feel vindicated after reading these books. You will be proud to be a slacker! Because you and your family will be the better for it!

You will probably be hearing a lot more about these great books in upcoming blog entries because I just cannot say enough about them.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Book Club

Tonight I attended my first book club meeting. A bunch of women from the ward (well and a few who aren't in the ward) started the book club I think about 2 years ago, but I was just invited to join this year. I'm trying to get out more and make more friends and mostly just have a night away from the kids now and then so I said I'd join.

They only meet every other month and I didn't go in January because I didn't even make it though the first chapter of the book. So this was my first time going.

For some reason that I don't fully understand I already feel a little out of place with most of these women. Probably because I have been in the ward for going on 5 years now and most of them still think I'm shy. Which really means they just don't know me at all.

So there was this other Nicole chick there whom I had never met before and she was one of the more outspoken ones, but in a good way. Like she's the type that you want to hate because she appears to be so perfect (funny, involved, talented, etc.) but she's just so charming and funny that it's impossible to hate her. So suddenly I found myself wanting to impress her, and at the same time prove to these other women whom I did know that I was not shy and that I was funny and fun to be around. I guess I was trying to make them like me. I don't know. I mean they must like me even just a little since they invited me to be in their book club. But anyway. So I find myself carefully calculating what I'm going to say to make sure it's funny and has just the right comedic timing and I also start becoming way more emphatic with my arm gestures then I normally am just to make sure I'm noticed. At one point I even tipped over my glass. Thank goodness it was empty.

And then I came home and wondered why I acted that way. I am not in Jr. High and I don't need these women's approval to feel good about myself. I don't even want to be like most of them. I mean I am not your cookie cutter Relief Society President type and I never will be. Don't want to be. So why was I trying to hard to impress them? I mostly just feel foolish now.

By the way, the book we read was Inside my Heart by Robin McGraw (Dr. Phil's wife) and it was a horrible book! The ONLY reason anybody published her book was because she is Dr. Phil's wife. And I had a lot of really good, opinionated things I was going to say about the book. And i was only one of 2 people there tonight who had actually read the book all the way through. So we literally talked about the book for 5 minutes and then spent the next 3 hours talking about kids and school and maturation programs at school (I'm one of the younger ones there with young kids so the others all have 11 and 12 year old kids.) and dentists (yes I related my dentist story) and just all sorts of other crazy stupid things that had nothing to do with the book at all.

So I have concluded it's not really a book club at all, but actually a club of burned out stay at home moms who just need to get away from their kids once in a while. I think we should actually start calling it that. Kind of flows off the tongue, don't you think?

Feeling a little down in the mouth

I had a dentist appointment on Tuesday and it was the worst trip to the dentist I have ever had! Where to start?

We have been going to this office not too far from our house for about 2 1/2 years now. I love the hygienist there. (most through gentle cleanings on the face of the planet!) And I really liked the dentist, too. Dr. Clark Dana. He even did a filling last year and it wasn't too terrible of an experience. I mean I wouldn't want to go get one everyday but it could've been worse.

Like the one I had on Tuesday.

So February we go in for our cleanings only to find that there is a new dentist in town. One which I didn't even meet the day of my cleaning because I was the last appointment of the day and the dentist decided to go home early.

Thus I was a tad bit nervous about going in for a filling and a crown from a dentist I had never even met. So this new dentist came into the room and didn't even introduce himself to me. No "Hi, I'm Dr. Downing. Nice to meet you. Looks like we're doing a crown today." No, straight to the huge needle into my gums! And not only did he not talk to me to begin with, he didn't talk to me the entire procedure! You think I am exaggerating but I'm not. I mean when I have had dental work done in the past the dentist tries to put you at ease. He says if something hurts to raise your hand. He'll even stop frequently during the procedure to ask you how you are doing and see if you need a break for a minute or two. Nothing. Not one word. There were several times that I nearly got up and just walked out, I SO didn't want to finish the work!

First of all I have small sinuses as it is. Plus it is allergy season so breaking through my nose is not always so easy. So at one point there are like 4 hands in my mouth and I'm gagging and can't breath through my mouth but I try to breath through my nose and can't do that either and I started having a panic attack thinking I was going to suffocate. So then when I can finally breath again and I'm gasping for breath the assistant just looks at me all annoyed and states "We really need you to breath through your nose."

I also have a tmj problem on the left side of my jaw and it pops alot. Well that is the side of my mouth that they stuck that stinking block in to hold my mouth open while they worked. So the dentist and assistant would get up and walk away at times leaving me there with this block in my mouth and having my mouth opened that wide for that long was KILLING me. I mean it really hurt. So at one point I actually started crying. Here I am a grown adult sitting in the dentist chair crying. I felt so stupid and foolish and yet I couldn't stop.

The dentist didn't even tell me when he was done. He just disappeared and the assistant finished up and then put my chair back to the upright position. He literally didn't say a single word to me the entire time he worked on my mouth.

So, I have 3 more cavities on the other side of my mouth. I was supposed to go back next Tuesday to have them taken care of but I have since canceled my appointment. I am instead driving the extra 20 miles to see Dr. Dana, the other dentist who used to be at that office. It it worth the drive not to have another bad experience at the dentist.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Nicole Show

"The thing is, a person's life is like a TV show. I was the star of The Will Show. And The Will Show wasn't an ensemble drama. Guests came and went, but I was the regular. It came down to me, and me alone. If Marcus' mum couldn't manage her own show....if her ratings were falling, it was sad, but that was her problem."

Hugh Grant
About a Boy

For some reason I don't completely understand my husband and I find great pleasure in quoting the above line from About a Boy. So when I decided to start my own blog about just me it was obvious that it would be called The Nicole Show. Of course my life is somewhat an ensemble drama since I am married with children. But let's not get technical. :)

And who doesn't like to talk about themselves?