Call me narcissist if you must but this blog is all about ME. I have another blog about my kids, whom I love and adore writing about. But I was Nicole a long time before I was mom and I don't intend to give up being Nicole overnight.
You can read all about my kids at Naptime Optional.
Or you can follow along on our Arizona adventure on my 365 project blog.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Wow-it's been awhile since I wrote here! But I have so many crazy busy thoughts in my head these days that are bursting to come out! I tired to ignore them for awhile, told myself I'd sit down and write when life settles down. But it's now becoming very obvious that life never really completely settles down. So today I decided the dishes could just stay dirty because I was going to write!
We've been going through a bit of an identity crisis at our house lately. In case you aren't up to speed Mike was laid off a little over 7 months ago. I think men especially (but women too) are prone to having much of their identity and self worth wrapped up in their job, in how well they provide for their family. So I think questioning what and who you are in times of job loss is a natural, albeit painful, part of the grieving and healing process-because trust me, you do truly grieve the loss of a job.
Not too much later I kissed my baby goodbye as he went off to his first day of school.
And suddenly the 3 little people that my life had revolved around for the last 8 years were all gone for 7 hours a day 5 days a week.
I was left wondering who I was now. It's as if I only knew how to be "mom" and had entirely forgotten how to just be "Nicole".
Through these many months of trying to rediscover who we are my thoughts have often turned to the idea of Superheros. I've thought a lot about how they all have Secret Identities, mild-mannered alter egos. Do you remember that opening scene from The Incredibles?
I've been very obsessed lately with this idea of a Secret Identity. I think most Superheros discover their super powers, realize, as Mr. Incredible pointed out, that they don't want the pressure of being super all the time and then adopt a secret identity. But I can't get over this feeling that Mike and I are just simply going through the process in reverse. We already have pretty well established mild-mannered alter egos: that guy who went to work day in and day out and the girl whose days consisted of dirty diapers, dirty dishes, and dirty clothes. These little bumps in the road that life threw at us are simply the universe's way of trying to awaken the super heros that lie beneath.
They are in there somewhere! Can you see them?