Call me narcissist if you must but this blog is all about ME. I have another blog about my kids, whom I love and adore writing about. But I was Nicole a long time before I was mom and I don't intend to give up being Nicole overnight.

You can read all about my kids at Naptime Optional.
Or you can follow along on our Arizona adventure on my 365 project blog.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dreams Deferred

Dreams Deferred
By Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

I was thinking about dreams a lot in January because one of our assignements for writing group was to write a Bucket List. You know- a list of 100 things to do before you die.

I'm trying to reconcile in my mind which dreams are okay to put on hold because it's not the season of my life for that and which dreams I need to work on, to nurture so they don't shrivel up and die.

There is an Indigo Girls song that has a line in it that goes "My dreams come in like needy children, tugging at my sleeve. I said I have no way of feeding you, so leave."

I feel that way so often.

Sometimes I feel like dreams or destiny or our life mission (or whatever you want to call it) is supposed to just sort of find you. It's not supposed to be so much work. It's not supposed to require so much struggle.

But I guess it's the struggle that makes it so fulfilling in the end.

So if my dreams aren't going to just fall in my lap-what exactly is it that I am supposed to be doing now to move them along?


Liss said...

i'm a list maker....have to have SOMETHING to work on. although as a mom, i think that just makes for chaos and frustration around here.

i did a 101 things in 1001 days....over half my list is just travel oriented--either places to go as a family or temples to visit while there. i can't travel all the time, but when i do, i've tried to make the most of it.

a bucket list is a good thing.... just make sure it's stuff that would take you a lifetime to do, not just stuff you want to do _now_.

HeidiPie said...

You have to find something you love and do it.

Krista said...

More sleep = more dreams, right? Actually, I think I would have a hard time writing a bucket list.

orangemily said...

Definitely do what you love.

Nicole said...

It's not that I don't want to do something I love-it's just that being a mother is my top priority right now and anything else often ends up just feeling like it's taking away from me being a good mother. So how can I not forget or give up on those dreams without letting them take away from what is really important?

Karen said...

I could have sworn I commented on this post. Maybe I was delusional, because we know that motherhood is conducive to that ailment.

Friend, sister, confidant and partner in crime, I can't help but think about yin & yang and how it relates to "opposition in all things." I think you are right about the struggle being what makes it so fulfilling in the end.

I believe that in your heart, there are a handful of things you really want to try. I think you should try a few of them this year. I will support you anyway I can. I would read any book, you would right. I would read any news article you wrote. I would watch any channel you worked for. I would support any cause you did PR for. I am sure there are many things I didn't even think of. I'm just sayin'.....I am here for ya.

Karen said...

Oh crap....I just re-read what I wrote and used the wrong "write." Sigh.....I meant to mention something about balance as well. It you don't have dreams to chase and things that "fill your cup," your ability to be the type of mom you want to be suffers as well. Balance is hard and it is difficult to keep from leaning one way or the other, but worth the effort.

:) Hugs