Dreams Deferred

Dreams Deferred
By Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

I was thinking about dreams a lot in January because one of our assignements for writing group was to write a Bucket List. You know- a list of 100 things to do before you die.

I'm trying to reconcile in my mind which dreams are okay to put on hold because it's not the season of my life for that and which dreams I need to work on, to nurture so they don't shrivel up and die.

There is an Indigo Girls song that has a line in it that goes "My dreams come in like needy children, tugging at my sleeve. I said I have no way of feeding you, so leave."

I feel that way so often.

Sometimes I feel like dreams or destiny or our life mission (or whatever you want to call it) is supposed to just sort of find you. It's not supposed to be so much work. It's not supposed to require so much struggle.

But I guess it's the struggle that makes it so fulfilling in the end.

So if my dreams aren't going to just fall in my lap-what exactly is it that I am supposed to be doing now to move them along?

Best Friend Quiz

Everybody had been emailing me quizzes lately. You know, what piece of furniture are you, how old is your spirit, what Disney Princess are you, etc, etc, etc.

So I decided to write my own!!!!

Take the following quiz to see if you can be my BFF.

You know you want to. (Be my BFF I mean, because who wouldn't?)

New Best Friend Quiz


1-What is your most typical response when asked “what’s for dinner?”

a.Filet minion with potatoes au gratin, steamed veges and a pear salad topped with feta cheese.
b. Take out-your dad is bringing it home with him
c. Cold cereal
d. dinner?

2-Which of the following music artists are on your ipod? Check all that apply

a. Miley Cyrus
b. ABBA
c. John Denver
d. Indigo Girls
e. Garth Brooks
f. Barry Manillow
g. New Kids on the Block
h. What’s an ipod?

3-Facebook or Twitter?

a. Facebook
b. Twitter
c. Both
d. Neither
e. am I supposed to know what those are?

4- You find yourself with an entire day ALL TO YOURSELF. What do you do?

a. sleep
b. clean the house
c. read a book
d. waste exorbitant amounts of time on the computer
e. call your BFF for a day of shopping and pedicures and eating

5-Do you text?

a. yes
b. no

6-You are in the car with somebody you don’t know too well and she starts singing along loudly to the radio. Do you:

a. turn it up even louder and sing along
b. stare at her, mouth agape, appalled at her shameless display
c. duck low in your seat so that passing card don’t know you’re in the car as well


7-Which TV Character to you most relate with?

a. Lucy Ricardo
b. Carol Brady (no personality)
c. Claire Huxtable
d. Carrie Heffernan (funny, but a moron)
e. who are these people? Who has time for TV?

8-If you and your BFF were at the movie together and somebody was talking loudly would you:

a. Shush very loudly
b. Move to another section of the theater
c. Inform the manager
d. make some sort of joke about people talking loudly during the movie

9-List 3 items you always carry in your purse:


10-You say you will be ready in a minute. This means:

a. You’ll be ready in 60 seconds, duh!
b. You’ll be ready in an hour
c. You’ll be ready in 5 minutes
d. define “ready”


Scoring

Give yourself 1 point for every question you answered. Then multiply it by 10. Then subtract half. Then stand on your head and sing I’m a Little Teapot.

If your score is 1-100 then we are going to be best friends, easy!

One Word 2010

There is a pervasive theme running around the interwebs right now that says that instead of creating New Year's resolutions to create a theme for your year. One word to focus on, to give you direction, to give you purpose as you approach 2010. I was intrigued when I first ran across the idea last year but never got around to picking my word for 2009.

So here we are already barreling through 2010 and I have yet to pick a word.

This weekend I got smacked with a head cold and woke up this morning not wanting to do much of anything. So as I lounge on the couch with my laptop, watching my kids play with their new Christmas toys, I decided to stop putting it off. Today is the day! I am happy to declare that I have finally picked my one little word for 2010.

I know I've shared this before, but I'm so inspired by it.

And so, my word for 2010 is CREATE.

But it's not just about creating physical things, although I do want my year to include that. I plan to write more. (Yea for my new writing group!) I want to do more with my photography. (Thank you to Ryan for snagging me a spot at Photo camp Utah which sold out in a few short hours.)

But I also want to create memories. Create lasting relationships. Create opportunities for myself and others. In short-I want to create the life I really .
want to be living.

Here's to a great new year!!!!!!

Aiming for mediocrity

I had a friend once tell me that I was living my life at 300% and that it was okay to take it down a notch and live at 100%. Although there have been times in my life that that would've been a true statement right now I actually feel like I am only hitting about 40% in most areas of my life, and am closer to 30% in others.

In my pre-kid life I was the A student. The on who got all the answers right and yet STILL did the extra credit. I was always at least 10 minutes early to everything. And my room was always clean. I was sickeningly dependable. I was the kind of person everybody loved to hate.

I don't say all this to brag. Just to illustrate how far I've fallen.

You see today I did the unthinkable. Today I utterly and completely forgot that I had jury duty. The old me NEVER would've forgotten something THAT important.

But it's pretty much par for the course for the current me.

So here I am, plugging through the normal morning routine, feeding the kids, begging Adam to hurry so he wouldn't be late for school. It's 8:00, my husband is ready to walk out the door to work, and I'm still in my pajamas. I walk past the fridge, like I had a dozen other times that morning. But this time something catches the corner of my eye. A yellow piece of paper half obscured by a handful of recipts. And it suddenly dawns on me what it is-my jury summons. I quickly yank the piece of paper from the fridge and start running up the stairs yelling words that should not be repeated.

I'm supposed to report to court house by 8:30. I have no babysitter. I haven't had a shower. I'm not even sure if there is enough gas in my car to get me all the way downtown. More expletives. Of this I'm not proud. But it's true.

I tell my husband in no uncertain terms that he is going to have to get Adam off to school and either stay home with the other kids or find a babysitter himself because I have no time. I skip the shower and throw on clean clothes, grab an elastic to pull my hair up in the car, and make a mad dash for my car.

I drive like a maniac knowing that no matter how fast I drive I'll never make it on time and start wondering how late I can be before they hold me in contempt of court. To say I was panicked would be an understatement.

I finally arrive at the courthouse (late, of course) and the security guard at the parking entrance wants to have an in depth conversation with me about my vehicle. "Do you like your Saturn? What kind of fuel mileage do you get?"

I park in the first open space I see and then run (in my heels) to the elevator.

When I finally arrive at the jury gathering room I'm 20 minutes late. And the only entrance is at the front of the room. No way to sneak quietly in the back.

Fortunately they were in the middle of roll call and hadn't called my name yet.

In the end we waited several hours only to be released to leave when the defendant failed to show up.

The old me, the 300% me, would now have a witty way of ending this post. The current me can barely form 2 coherent sentences and is, instead, just going to leave it at that and go to bed. Try not to be too disappointed. I'm living my life at 40% these days, remember? This is as good as it gets. (I have dirty dishes in the sink, too. Deal with it.)

Name that Movie Monday

I know, I know. I said I wasn't sure if I was going to keep doing Name that Movie Monday. But we watched a movie last week (one we had seen before, but it had been awhile) and then ended up quoting this line all weekend. So I thought, what the hey!

Of course, I have to admit that had I not JUST seen this movie I would have no idea where this quote was from. But it's just too good not to share.

By all means move at a glacial pace, you know how that thrills me.

No movie codes anymore, though. Redbox has moved to a new model and now free movie codes are all unique and valid only once. :(

Ah well, such is life.

Feels good to be back!

Twice as Nice

I'm not really a photographer and this isn't really a photography blog. But I do have a nice camera my husband gave me for my birthday and I do like to take pictures. (I also hate post processing so most my shots these days are SOOC) And this is my blog about me so I am going to post pictures that I took and there is nothing you can do about it. :)

My friend had twins a little over 2 months ago and so I offered to take "Baby's First Christmas" photos, just for fun.

Here are a few of my favorites.











Okay, that's more than just a couple.....and here's one (or two) more.





Okay, I'm done now.

Happy New Year

I wanted to start the year out right. I mean I just started blogging again and so if I really wanted to show my commitment to blogging in this new year I should start the year out by writing. Right?

But I couldn't decide what to write about.

I thought about making my best and worst of 2009 list. You know movies, books, etc But it seems so overdone and best and worst lists are completely biased anyway. Although I don't feel biased in warning you all NOT to see Beyond a Reasonable Doubt. That really is a horrible movie that you should not waste your time on. And I know now that half of you are going to run out and rent it just to see how horrible it is-and I will not be held accountable for the wasted time and money.


I also thought about writing the cliche post about my New Year's Resolutions. But we all know how lousy I am at making decent resolutions.

Then I thought that I could just repost this clip, except re-edit it to include only the parts pertaining to the new year. But, well, I have just spent the day post processing pictures and was feeling too lazy to edit video.

But then I looked over on my nightstand and saw the book my mother-in-law gave me for Christmas, the new Dan Brown book, Lost Symbol, the book I swore I wasn't going to start because it's big and I didn't have time.....but then I started anyway.....and it's just starting to get good....and well, I think I'm going to close my computer and go read instead.