non-sequential

I'm a sequential kind of gal. I like things to go in order. One then two then three. It bothered me that they made the Di Vinci Code movie before Angels and Demons because as books they came the other way around. I refuse to start watching a television show mid-season. Dessert always comes AFTER dinner.

This need for order is a detriment to me when it comes to blogging. When I stop blogging for awhile but want to start again I have a NEED to catch up in order. For some reason I can't just jump right back into blogging where my life is at RIGHT NOW. I have to "fill in" all the missing parts from when I wasn't blogging. But then the task of "catching up" seems so daunting that time consuming that I put it off and put it off. So then I just may as well give up blogging all together. (This is the same reason I don't scrap book!)

But I saw something today that was too funny. So I'm just putting it out there. Out of order! And I'm surprisingly at peace with that.

I drove past a day care today and their sign out front was missing a VERY important letter!

It said "Great Rats! Come take a tour today!"

Great Rats? At a day care? And you want to advertise that?

(I believe it was meant to say great rates.....)

I was laughing hysterically. I so wanted to take a picture. But I was driving. And had to pee (which wasn't helped by the fact that I was laughing) and I had perishables in the back seat. So I resisted to urge to drive around the block so I could take a picture.

But it made my day just the same.

And look!!!! A breakthrough! I blogged non-sequentially! This opens a whole new door of opportunity for me!

Photography as Life

Note from Nicole-I have decided to cross post this at my other blog, Naptime Optional since so much of what I learned at PhotoCamp had to do with my relationship to my kids. For you crazy readers that stop by both blogs (all 3 of you) sorry for the repetition!


I probably should've Googled that title before using it. I'm pretty sure somebody has it Copyrighted, because that is all the rage these days. Ever since the days of All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten it seems everybody is taking whatever it is they like or are good at and make it a metaphor for life. I'll be the first to admit that it's a bit "Chicken Soup for the Soul"-ish. Canned stories that are meant to force emotion out of you. I hate forced sentimentality. Which is why I almost talked myself out of writing this blog post.

But I the more I pondered on it the more I felt it needed to be written. I had an amazing day today at PhotoCamp Utah and I am bursting. I need to take a moment to reflect on and be grateful for the time I spent. I need to take a moment to be still and to really internalize the messages the universe sent me today or else by tomorrow it will be life as usual.

The biggest lessons I took away from PhotoCamp today have very little to do with photography. I did learn about light modifiers and speed lights and composition and photoshop-and these things will help me be a better photographer. But I learned so much more, that if I let it, will help me be a better person.

Today's first lesson came from the morning's first keynote speaker, Bruce Hucko. He was talking about spending time with the Navajo years ago, teaching art and photography to kindergarten students. He showed a picture of a young child jumping high in the air and talked about how all the mesas in the landscape and how the children would run and jump and how when friends would come visit him they would watch the children with worried expressions and say "Aren't you going to tell them to be careful?" Bruce's response was "Why would I put doubt in their minds when they know they can do this? They've been playing on these mesas since the time they could crawl."

And that's when it hit me! Doubt is a learned trait! A child thinks they can do anything! Every child thinks he is a great artist, a great singer, a great story teller, a great climber, a great dancer, a great photographer. I quickly took stock of the ways I may be planting the seeds of doubt in my own children. How often do I force my own doubts and fears upon them? And why do I do that? I teach them to compare themselves. I teach them to second guess their abilities. I am the one who teaches them they are "not enough". And I don't want to send my children that message anymore! Because they ARE great!

The next lesson I learned came during the "Take Hot Shots not Head Shots workshop taught by Todd Keith and Renee Lee of BellaOra Studios. Renee was talking about photo composition. She was talking about all the extraneous stuff that ends up in our photos because we aren't paying attention. She said "If something is not adding to your photo, it's distracting from it." That hit me like a ton of bricks! How often do extraneous "things" end up in my life because I'm not paying attention? I've been feeling run down and worn out a lot lately. I keep promising myself I'm going to cut back, slow down, simplify. But not going to this will hurt so-and-so's feelings. Not finishing that will let so-and-so down. And so on and so on. But to what end? Anything not adding value to my life or the life of my family is distracting from it! Things have GOT TO GO. If they are not fulfilling or leading me to the life I really want to be living they are merely a distraction. It is beyond time to simplify and get back to what is important.

While all of today's presenters were awesome in their own right and I learned so much from each one I have to say that the highlight of the day was keynote speaker Zack Arias. I can not think of enough superlatives to describe his presentation. But on thing in particular that he spoke about stood out for me. He showed example after example of gorgeous pictures and then would tell us that just to the right of frame was a dumpster. Or that just behind was lovely wall of vines was broken bottles and that the whole area smelled of urine. Or that spitting distance from a lovely green hill a couple is standing on is a massive construction site. As I listened to him talk I realized I walk through life with a MASSIVE wide angle lens. I focus on the dumpster, the urine, and the mess. Motherhood really is just one giant mess. And most the time that's exactly what I'm focused on. I walk into a room and see the crayons strewn all over the floor and miss the one of a kind art project that is lying next to them. I walk out into the yard and see the sand from the sandbox dumped all over the patio and completely miss the imaginative play my children are engaged in. I look at childhood and see all the mess and miss all the magic. I need a change in perspective. I need to focus on the beautiful.

At the very end of the day, when many had already bailed out, Anna Day gave a brief but moving presentation she called Journeys and Destination. Earlier in the day Bruce Hucko had alluded to the fact that life is about the Journey when he said a good trip back home to Moab (from Salt Lake City, a 4 hour drive) takes him about a week. I kind of chuckled and secretly cringed inside a bit at the overused cliche. But Anna's presentation brought the idea into sharp focus for me. She showed image after beautiful image and talked about how this was NOT the image she had come to get. One beautiful picture of a butterfly on a purple flower she caught while desperately heading towards a bathroom. How often do we miss the MOST SPECTACULAR parts of life because we are barreling towards some specific destination? For me right now I often find myself saying things like "well, as soon as all the kids are potty trained" or "as soon as all the kids are in school" or "I can't wait until the kids can do such and such for themselves" There is always some point in the future I am trying to just survive to and in the meantime I am missing this journey. I'm missing the superheros and princesses and galactic battle ships. I'm missing the joys of mis-matched socks and mispronounced words. In the rush to be somewhere else I'm missing the now.

I feel a debt of gratitude to all the fine folks who worked hard to put on today's event, an event pulled off entirely by volunteers! A very special thanks to Jeremy Hall whose baby this really is.

And a heartfelt shout out again to Zack Arias who came out to Salt Lake on a completely volunteer basis, sacrificing time with his family to spend a little of his time with us.

********************

Archives of some of today's workshops, included Zack Arias Keynote speech, can be found at the PhotoCamp Utah website

AAAAAND last but not least-you can go here to see the video that inspired Jeremy Hall to send the email that brought Zack Arias to PhotoCamp Utah! Don't miss it!!!!!

Preparations

I am attending Photocamp Utah on Saturday and I COULD NOT be any more excited. Seriously. I'm so ready to go from "wanna be photographer" to "Photographer".

So, there are a few things I am doing over the next couple of days to prepare.

First, I finally printed my picture for the Photo gallery display. I chose this picture.



Next, I plan on spending most of today reading my camera manual cover to cover. Yup, had my camera over a year now and I still haven't done that. But I made these 10 resolutions and so it's time to get a move on!

After that I need to spend some serious time on my flickr account. It's terribly unorganized. I have not made use of sets and collections and tags like I should. I have tons of pictures that should be for family/friends only that are public. And the thought that a REAL photographer may drop by my account because they met me at Photocamp and then have to click through my thousands of vacation snapshots is a bit embarrassing to me. So-I need to fix that! Ug. How I wish I had been smarter when I first started using flickr.

S0, now it's time to get to work. Shower first though. I do have priorities.

Beating a dead horse

So-you are tired of hearing about the Studio Lighting Photowalk, I'm sure.

I recently saw the a wrap-up video shot by photographerJeremy Hall and if you are interested in photography even just a little it does a good job of showing the different lighting set ups that were at the Photowalk and is a tad interesting.

But the REAL reason I'm sharing it here is because I made it in the video! At 5:31 the classy looking photographer with the camera up to her face is me! And there's a nice view of my back in the following frame, too.

Yea, shameless, I know. But hey, it is MY blog. :)

Studio Lighting 101

Yesterday I attended the Photowalking Utah annual Studio Lighting event. And I realized it's not hard to take good photos when you are working with expensive lighting equipment and professional models. :)

Actually it was a really fabulous event. I must say that photographers are quite an eclectic bunch. But they are also amazingly giving people. There was 9 different lighting set ups and a host photographer at each setup to guide and instruct. And every single one of them was extremely patient with my many MANY questions. I learned not only about lighting but about how to use my camera better in different lighting scenarios as well as a wealth of information about how to work with models. Everybody was so kind and generous with their time and talent.

And so now this is the part where I shameless post a bunch of the pictures I took so you can all tell me how good they are. :)

In one corner they had set up a trampoline and you could shoot your subject from the top of a ladder while they jumped. It made for some fun images.





This was a natural lighting set up. The outside light from the window lit them from one side and a reflector on the opposite side smoothed the harsh shadows. No lights or flash used.



This was Rembrandt Lighting.





A high key lighting set up



This set up was similar-the white background is the same. But there is no light on the backdrop itself. All the lighting is focused on the model for this look.



I liked this set up because it used just one light. Very enticing to an amateur like me who currently owns no lighting equipment of my own.



Okay, I won't torture you anymore. (although if you want to torture yourself you can see a few more shots on flickr page)

And now that I've made you look at my pictures, you can also go to the Photowalking Utah Group Pool on flickr and see pictures from some real photographers. Including pictures of Andrew the Rock star on the trampoline.

In the spotlight.....or not

I don't generally think of myself as the kind of person who needs to be the center of attention. I'm not that person at the party telling all the funny jokes. I mean of course I want people to laugh at my jokes when I do tell one, but I don't need to be constantly telling them. I've spent a lot of time in the chorus, so to speak. And for the most part just being on stage at all is good enough, I don't need to always have the lead.

At least, that's what I thought.

Sometimes, though, I find myself in situations that makes me realize that there must still be a small part of me that is looking for my 15 minutes of fame.

Where to start? I was recently introduced to a group called Photowalking Utah And, as the name would imply, it's a bunch of people who get together with their cameras and go on photowalks and then share the pictures on flickr.

Rich Legg is one of the group's organizers and teachers. He also specializes in stock photography. So when he sent out a plea for extras I thought, what the hey. Sounds like it could be fun.

And really, that was my only motivation for going. Because it sounded like a fun way to spend a couple of hours.

But something happened once I was sitting there in that theater seat with the flashes popping. I suddenly found myself wanting to make sure I was in each picture. I found myself sitting a little taller in my seat or standing on my tiptoes to try and ensure I was in the shot. I started to wonder if I should've worn something different or done my hair different or worn more make up.

About half way through the shoot we moved to a smaller theater and Rich said that the people sitting in the back should sit up front this time. I was thinking "Oh good, here's my chance to really be seen in some of the pictures." But the gal on the end of the row we were on had 17 coats and 8 bags and who knows what else because she took FOREVER to get out of the way so by the time we got to the next theater over we were in the back again. And I was irritated. I mean like it really mattered. Seriously. When did I get to be such a Prima donna?

To top it off, I also kept looking around at the people who had brought their kids and thinking "I should've brought my kids. They're cuter."

Did I just admit to thinking that?????????

Rich has posted 1 picture from the shoot. And I feel a little like Mike Wazowski and his picture on the front of magazine. But really, it was a fun morning and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Dreams Deferred

Dreams Deferred
By Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

I was thinking about dreams a lot in January because one of our assignements for writing group was to write a Bucket List. You know- a list of 100 things to do before you die.

I'm trying to reconcile in my mind which dreams are okay to put on hold because it's not the season of my life for that and which dreams I need to work on, to nurture so they don't shrivel up and die.

There is an Indigo Girls song that has a line in it that goes "My dreams come in like needy children, tugging at my sleeve. I said I have no way of feeding you, so leave."

I feel that way so often.

Sometimes I feel like dreams or destiny or our life mission (or whatever you want to call it) is supposed to just sort of find you. It's not supposed to be so much work. It's not supposed to require so much struggle.

But I guess it's the struggle that makes it so fulfilling in the end.

So if my dreams aren't going to just fall in my lap-what exactly is it that I am supposed to be doing now to move them along?