Call me narcissist if you must but this blog is all about ME. I have another blog about my kids, whom I love and adore writing about. But I was Nicole a long time before I was mom and I don't intend to give up being Nicole overnight.

You can read all about my kids at Naptime Optional.
Or you can follow along on our Arizona adventure on my 365 project blog.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Haunted by the need to be perfect

Although blogging is a relatively new addiction for me I have taken to it wholeheartedly. Maybe a little too much. What started out as a way just to express myself and to write again (I've missed writing!) and also just to record the going ons of our growing family has become a relentless pursuit of perfection. (all this is one short month!)

See, I've started having the urge to make every post really great! Like simply writing what was on my mind wasn't good enough. Everything had to be "worth reading". Call it the writer in me I guess. Or maybe it's because I knew this wasn't just merely a "journal" but that other people were going to actually be reading this (a special thanks to my reading audience of 3 1/2 for coming back again after the first post)

The problem is that I now have this long list of things I want to blog about that I've never gotten around to writing because I'm waiting for the "inspiration" to make it truly memorable.

Case in point. Adam's birthday was over a week ago now. And I've been wanting to write about it. I've even been picking out the perfect pictures to use. But I wanted to make it this awesome post that was funny and insightful and special for Adam, too. Like I had this idea of starting out by talking about all the things that happened on April 6, 2004. So I literally spent an hour and a half last night trying to search news archives to find out what happened that day. (I have only 3 memories of that day really. hours and hours of labor, finding out that Sister Hinckley died, and that it was Elton John night on American Idol.) You would think in this age of Google that such a task would be a piece of cake but an hour and half later I was mad at myself for wasting so much time and not being any closer to having a "cool" blog entry!

When maybe really the point is to just start writing. And maybe it won't be perfect. And maybe some won't even be funny. (scandal, I know) But write anyway! The magic is in the writing.

and perhaps this is also an analogy for the rest of my life as well. Maybe I don't need to wait for inspiration or perfection to do other things, either. Maybe I should just start.


Ryan said...

Blogging is raw journalism at it's best. Write about the hours and hours of labor, finding out Sister Hinckley died, and of course, it being Elton John night on American Idol. That's the type of stuff memories are truly made of, because those things are relevant to what happened to YOU on that day.

I remember dad saying we were going to go buy him a new car while he had the day off. We came to the hospital and I told you we were going to go find dad a Saab, and you said go for it. And we didn't go buy a car that day, but we did soon thereafter. And Dad has had his car about 3 years, because he bought it right after Adam was born.

Also, if I had not destroyed it by dropping it, that is how long I would have had my Canon A80 by now, because some of the first pictures I took were of the waiting room in the hospital, and everything else at the hospital for that matter.

Liss said...

And then there's what I grew up hearing my mom say: I feel so much better today than I felt (x) years ago....
Not that she was trying to make me feel guilty, but just that having a child is so amazing, but hooray, those later birthdays are SO much more fun!!!
Anyway, just blog like crazy, just get it out there. It's more fun that way! :) (And it captures the essence that is you more than anything else can. We want to hear Nicole's "voice"!)

MeggyMeg said...

Well your blog is better than mine. I never know what to write, and I am not a writer. So half the stuff (or all of it) I write probably sounds dumb. But at least I feel like I am keeping connected to people in a way. :) You do great with what ever you do. Keep it up!

orangemily said...

Just start, I like that!

Andria said...

I guess I just think of my blog as a journal and so I just write what I want to write. It's been too long since I've kept a journal and I think blogging will help me to do it. So, just keep on keeping on, my sweet cuz'. I think you're doing great and I'm always excited to read a new post from you.

And I'm impressed that you can remember anything about what happened on the day Adam was born, outside of the delivery room. The only thing I remember about Daniel's birth is that the lights kept going out because of the huge storm and I thought I might have to give birth by candlelight!

HeidiPie said...

I think it's fabulous that you blog! Truly. And I'm pretty sure you have more than 3 1/2 readers. (Hopefully I'm not that half...haha) Well, keep on truckin'!

Michael said...

See, we both are anal retentive, just about different things.